emotional disorder or being lost

how tensions between:

external social/political/economic forces

+ interior/personal/emotive/reflective experience = come into play

an advertising slogan this powerful strength that pushes

the drowning effect, the task of commercialising the personal; how to reach the margins of the river while the
water goes stronger and stronger in a political-military dialogue
and one stops (rich in vitamin c)

breathing,  in an interaction or collusiveness
(wandering how the brain works in these moments)

there are no paradigms of normality,

the processes of the economic, military, and social machine,

all of this is superbly united in tight metrical line

things are too much complex and you are not a human being between the stages of birth and puberty,
in the space of the margins, the position of the text,

and measurements of indentation and so forth,
but a nervous system of
impulses coding in the philosophical monologist that are belied by crowding intimations
of a whole series of relativising contexts for the occasion of utterance connections of mind –
altering disorders, the emphatic to meaning
and lie detectors in the withdrawal of the glaciers
in this
misunderstanding state of alzheimer diseases
and almost panic disorder cycles of commercial fetishisation

afraid of what one sees in the silver glue of the mirror, its apparently hermetic references
afraid of staring at the blindness of light,
afraid of the relationship between the mediated word, the crafted text, and the external world ;
confused in time, place, personal identity; in the patterns of settlement judged in relation to the customs of nomadic tribes

like a living day light of a lost civilization absorved in the various points of entry and exit in the processes of absorbing information from the world or of sending it out into the world
while the time passes like a stroke and nothing seems
reasonable, every human interaction, personal reflection, and meditation on time and place involves others,

and effects, and is influenced by macro and micro changes
in the schizophrenia of love mazes’

in the social, economic, and political climate
bemused by stupid questions, by concerns that are moral and ethical
by understanding parkinson symptoms,
perplexed by many conflicting situations or statements,
knowing that nothing seems to make any kind of sense,
afraid of just being,

(still realising we have an obligation to recognise what is happening in the world)

of breathing through the incomplete

the agony in the voice,
lost in thought
as a cloudy and confounded philosopher near a whole sea of immaterial
common chemical substance that is essential for the survival of all known forms of life
filled with bewildered
trying to talk a third language of amnesia

i am no longer in colonial possession and control, the colonial possession and control
i am unable to be found or recovered in the middle of the street,
like all the people who are destined to die soon

Déjà Vu– Translation memory and productivity system
of extreme

strengthening emotions
disorders, fear
and the dry amygdala

loosing the property of being
not knowing what is that of being physically or mentally strong
What makes a person mentally strong?

I am not a mentally strong person, and i really need to know what makes a person mentally strong?


with a fatigue that sapped strength
in a military incapability of putting intelligence and
information together
loosing the control, losing the personal and material
will to fight a war;
facing an army of great powers made of fake gold and clay,

without force, without physical energy or intensity;
without knowing how much sleep do you need,
explaining invisible phantoms
having pain in each of the muscles of or feeling the effect of spine injuries
trying to have persuasiveness patience,
to avoid the epilepsy
the power to induce the taking of a course of action
or the embracing of a point of view by means of argument or entreaty;

in an argument settled  in the matter,
in the intensity of the dawn:
looking for the amount of energy transmitted
in intimate acoustic or electromagnetic radiations
almost adjusted in the intensity of the sound outsourcing and crowdsorcing that

manages the way one gets the info and the way knowledge flows among the imagelisation landscape
loosing the capacity to produce strong physiological or chemical effects

in the total epistemology of over data;

in a lastingness:
a permanent fight
by virtue of the power to resist stress or force of the will
advertised in the short durability of industrial products,
as a pleasure seeker absorved in the fear impulse to translate the strange into familiar terms can be seen as a form of denial, as a refusal to face up to the moral and political impasse of contemporary selfhood
quiting stimulants and sedatives

no longer in possession or control;
unable to be found or recovered in the contamination of social politics by the criteria of economic-financial transactions;
laying down new memories,
frequently finding myself disoriented beyond the grasp of conventional modes and measures

in order to register the lateral pressures and sometimes buckling impact of incongruous vocabularies, programmes
when I come up out of the underground

a lost ship in a terrible sea tempest;
a lost platoon not gained or won;
warsaw smoke of the army of carthage;

a man incapable of being recovered or regained;
reduced to the scope of the familiar, speaking voice without submitting to an illusion of control and conscious orientation
using words lost in the din
like an human or an animal;
helpless, trying to locate humankind in relation to geological time scales

or to the infinitesimal events of neurochemistry

to the migration patterns of other species or to the systems logic of

information technology
unable to function, showing defects, a damage
caused by an inability to respond emotionally to the content of thoughts

with perceptions interacting and fighting with emotions,
with the blood in state of the hottest fear,
trying to find the body own painkillers, the easy path to comprehension
exploring the nuances and variations in language of the fingers and the potentials of “meaning” that lie in its structures
without help

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